Most of the bad guys in the real world don’t know that they are bad guys. You don’t get a flashing warning sign that you’re about to damn yourself. It sneaks up on you when you aren’t looking.
– Jim Butcher
It is very hard to know if what you are doing is something positive or negative until after. I think most people who do strange or hurtful things are either very stressed or very afraid themselves. It is about finding what is making us stressed or fearful and dealing with it, and then try helping others deal with their stress and fears. It often feels much simpler to start with the people around you than with yourself.