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– L.E. Modesitt J.R., The One-Eyed Man

Sometimes lies or white lies feels easier to tell than the truth. What I have noticed is that truth is often much more complicated than lies, because the truth contains not just what we did or what we said, but also the thoughts and feelings behind the words and the actions. It contains all the actions that led up to that event and our thoughts about what other people did before and during the event. All of this makes truth very hard to explain to other people.

It is often much easier to lie or not tell the whole truth, but by telling the truth you give the people around you the chance to get to know you. And most importantly, it will help you practice being open and explaining your complicated truth. To share who you are.

– Doctor Who, The Time of the Doctor 2013 Christmas episode.

We need to remember who we were and the path we took to get where we are today. So that we learn from our mistakes. But more importantly, so that we can celebrate how far we have come. How much we have learnt on our way to the present. To remember all the people we have met; our friends and our teachers.

Around New Years is a good time to drink a cup of tea, get out a notebook and sit down and write about the year that has gone by.

What was good? What was bad? What do I want for the year to come?

-L.E. Modesitt Jr., The One Eyed Man

Sometimes I think too much. Spend too much time worrying, planning and analyzing instead of doing something. Many chances are lost due to people not taking the chance. Many other chances might get squandered because we did not think things through before. I rather take too many chances and lose some due to I did not think things through before than sit and ponder everything before going into action. I rather fail than miss out. I often fail at this though and I sit and analyze too long, but it feels like I’m getting better at it.

– Ian C. Esslemont, Orb Sceptre Throne

Having packed up our apartment and traveled to New York with only a large backpack and a suitcase for me and my wife, I’m realizing more and more how little I actually need to live. To live well. It is such a relief to just have those few things and so little clothes to choose from. It makes it much simpler to dress in the morning. We filled up a storage room with things from our apartment and I can hardly remember what I put into it. It will be really nice to come home and clear out even more things from my life. I think it will make me feel even more lighter.

– James S.A. Corey, Abaddon’s Gate

The violence people use is not always physical violence, most times people use words instead of fists. It is quite apparent when politicians start to attack what the other person said than talk about his or her own ideas. But it is not just contained there, you can see it in meetings at work as well. It is so compelling to attack instead of think about why the person does not agree with me and try to find a common ground, or to find the arguments that would sway him or her. This is the harder path, the easier path of punching someone in the face is always lurking at the corner of our eyes.

– Culmsee and Kailish, The heretics guide to best practices: The reality of managing complex problems

This is part of the definition of a wicked problem. What I have found is that more problem than we think are wicked problems and that there is no clear solution to them. This frustrates so many people that they cannot find the one true solution and which is why many people just stop when they have found one solution that seems ok. This is great for getting things done but it might also stop people, organizations and things from developing further.

I think this is especially true for people. Our lives are wicked problems, and there is no one solution that will fulfill all our needs. Every time you meet someone new, read a book or participate in a new experience, you will find a new way to look at life and to improve your understanding if yourself and what you want.

– P.S. Power, The Builder

What we often need to hear is another voice telling us that what we are planning to do is a good idea. That positive feedback is what people usually need to dare to take that extra step. In my opinion it is much better to get started than to do everything perfectly. So I am much more keen of saying and I rather hear; ‘Sounds great, go for it!’ than to hear people comment on every little detail of the plan that might go wrong.

– Brandon Sanderson, Steelheart

Make sure people do not get up for a third is for me also about making sure if a conflict starts that you work towards ending it. There are many ways that you can end a conflict; make sure they don’t get up again is a very direct one. To handle the conflict in such a way that there is not a conflict anymore is in most cases a better solution. When that is not possible, because many conflicts can not be solved, make sure both you and the other party accepts the conflict you have and that this is something you need to work on. This reminded me of this quote by Carl Jung:

“The greatest and most important problems of life are all fundamentally insoluble. They can never be solved but only outgrown.”

– Ian C. Esslemont, Orb Sceptre Throne

I both agree and disagree with this sentence. If you choose one thing then it is impossible to choose the other paths later because a path always changes. The result of a decision will always be different based on when we take it. It might be us that change when we ponder the question or the people who are waiting for your answer. So on a very literal/metaphysical level. You can never choose the other paths.

Most decisions we get stuck on, though, are rarely fatal or final. And by choosing one path, the other pats will change but not by much. Sometime it might take some extra time and cost a bit of money but most decisions can be changed.

It is usually better to do something then get stuck in indecision and let the possibilities pass you by.

– Sarah Fine, Sanctum

A few people I have met in life seem to have this ability. Everyone they meet seem to be in the center of their world. It feels like nothing else matters but you and they accept you for who you are. What you say, your thoughts and your feelings are all ok. In this space of acceptance, deep conversations and open discussions appear. And they bring real learning and amazing growth.