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depend

Depend can be traced back to de + pendere, which literally can be translated to “to hang down from”. To be dependent on someone then means that it is someone you would trust to hang down from.

A person you can depend on should be treasured just like a valuable pendant hanging from your neck. Remember though to let these amazing people swing freely and let them be pendulums, swinging back and forth. Sometimes supporting you and sometime pushing you forward when you don’t want to go on. Sometime standing by your side and at other times swinging away discovering new things and new experiences they can bring back to you.

They will always be there though when you are hanging down from an edge to help you back up.

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Most of the bad guys in the real world don’t know that they are bad guys. You don’t get a flashing warning sign that you’re about to damn yourself. It sneaks up on you when you aren’t looking.

– Jim Butcher

It is very hard to know if what you are doing is something positive or negative until after. I think most people who do strange or hurtful things are either very stressed or very afraid themselves. It is about finding what is making us stressed or fearful and dealing with it, and then try helping others deal with their stress and fears. It often feels much simpler to start with the people around you than with yourself.

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Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.

– Neil Gaiman, Coraline

It feels like there is always one or two dragons in my life. A project that I can’t seem to finish, a conflict I really don’t want to solve, or a bad habit that I just can’t seem to quit. When I can get some time to reflect and think the problem through I can usually find a similar dragon I have conquered before. It gives me some hope, courage and inspiration.

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The best six doctors anywhere
And no one can deny it
Are sunshine, water, rest, and air
Exercise and diet.
These six will gladly you attend
If only you are willing
Your mind they’ll ease
Your will they’ll mend
And charge you not a shilling.

 – Wayne Fields

I love this short poem and I will use it as a guide for my next 5 months of vacation in New York. To make sure that every day contains sunshine and air through walking, rest through sleeping and taking it easy, exercise through running and yoga, and diet through eating well. So simple and so effective at the same time.

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She told me that if magic gives people what they want, then not using magic can give them what they need.

– Terry Pratchett, Equal Rites

When giving a lecture, writing a book or giving a course; the challenge is to find a good mix between giving people what they want and what they need. If you only give people what they want they will go away satisfied but you will only have a short term effect on their lives. If you only give them what they need they will probably not feel satisfied and might not listen to what you say. It’s about fulfilling people’s expectations then taking it to the next level.

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sympathy vs empathy

The ending of sympathy and empathy comes from the same greek word, pathos, that means feeling. Sym- means together/the same, and em- means in. This means that sympathy can be translated as having the same feeling as the other person, while empathy is being in the feeling of the other person. The strength of empathy is to continue being yourself, feeling your feelings, while still being with the other person letting them feel what they need at this moment.

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The difference is between saying something to a person, and saying something about a person. The first might be rude, but the second is always gossip.

– Patrick Rothfuss, The Name of the Wind

I just loved how simply he managed to explain the concept of gossip and what it means.

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Naturally we have to ignore the awkward fact that the smartest thing is all too often only obvious in hindsight, but never mind.

– Iain M. Banks, Surface Detail

You can only make the best of every situation you are in or have created yourself. What to do to make the certain situation better will always change and there is no clear recipe to follow. The one thing we should always do is to learn from the situation and what we did to create it. Especially if the situation turned out great, then you should really sit down and think about what you did to create it.

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random

Random comes from Old German meaning to run, according to Merriam-Webster. The word today is defined as “lacking a definite plan, purpose or pattern”. When we run through life without taking the time to sit down and think what we want to achieve then our actions might well appear random to people who watch us or even to ourselves. Our randomness might well be that we are controlled by our stress and fears that are very short-sighted instead of our needs or desires that may be more long-term.